Christmas can be a challenging time for some people, particularly where grief is concerned! Whether you have been recently bereaved or your loss was many years ago, Christmas has a tendency to sharpen your senses around your loved ones who are no longer with you.
It highlights Christmases past when you spent time with your loved ones and when you celebrated the season with them. Your emotions can become heightened when you see the empty chair, or you’ve bought their favourite tipple out of habit but they are not with you to drink it. Watching their favourite films can be challenging for you, especially as you recall them laughing their heads off at the funny bits!
And then there are your loved ones whose anniversary of their passing is very close to Christmas, it feels like this is a double whammy for you! Whilst others are getting ready for Christmas with joy, you are trying hard not to just sit there and cry. It can feel incredibly isolating and the pressure to be merry is exhausting.
Essentially Christmas can amplify your grief. This is because traditions can highlight the absence of whomever or whatever you have lost. It doesn’t help when there are social expectations made of you – where you have to put on a brave face for those around you – whether that is at work or even at home where close family members, particularly children, are expecting you to provide a good time for them. So you mask your feelings for your family’s sake.
Now this blog is not here to bring you down – particularly if you are already feeling the strain. What I want to bring you is some comfort, some reassurance that you are seen and heard and understood.
Here are some ideas that you can use or get creative with so adjust them to your individual style:
Permission Slips:
I want you to write yourself some ‘permission slips’ that allow you to leave early, to cry, to laugh, to say “no”, to do things differently this year. You could even say no to the card-writing this year!
Remembrance:
Create a moment of ‘remembrance’ for your loved one. This could take the form of lighting a candle, raising a glass to acknowledge them, say their name out loud, look at pictures of them, you may want to watch their favourite film, however watch it positively to celebrate the laughter or joy they used to watch it with.
Get really creative with this one.
Memory Box:
Make a memory box for your loved one and fill it with photos and music and keepsakes and anything that you wish, that reminds you of them. You could do this alone however, you may wish to share this with your family members and allow them to join you in this honouring of whomever or whatever you have lost.
A Letter:
You could write a letter to your loved one or about your loss. You could write about how you miss them, how you are feeling. Externalising your feelings is a great way to release them and to bring ease and flow back into your body. There is no right or wrong way to write this letter, go with the flow and if you feel that you cannot start the letter, use these words: Dear…, I am writing to you today because…
and just watch your words pour out of you.
I invite you to be really gentle with yourself as Christmas approaches. It is really important to recognise that your grief is real and you need to allow your feelings – allow yourself to lean into them and be true to yourself. Your grief needs to be honoured, so trust yourself and be true to yourself. Get those permission slips written and act upon them. And of course, you can find The Grief Collective meditation here: The Grief Collective Meditation — Grief Collective Meditation this will also support you at this time.
I wish you all a very compassionate Christmas and a beautiful 2026!
In all love,
Lindsey xx